I had 3 kids by 21… and I thought my life was over.
I was drowning in motherhood and an age that was supposed to be my prime, most would say
Because before I became a mom—
I hadn’t even figured out who I was as a woman.
This wasn’t my plan.
Becoming a young mom or a mother at all was never what I had in mind for my life.
Like most people my age, I pictured life like this—
Going to school, chasing goals, having freedom… figuring myself out first.
Then maybe… I’d consider becoming a mom.
But it’s too late for that.
My life took a complete 180.
The moment everything Shifted
I had my first baby at 18 — a year after graduating high school.
Barely stepping into adulthood when my whole life changed.
I remember waking up that morning getting ready to go to work.
I DID NOT want to go to work, I bawled my eyes out in the car. My boyfriend (now husband) looked at me ugly cry and questioned if I was pregnant.
Once I got to work, I went straight to Dr. Google.
I spent my entire shift searching for pregnancy symptoms, sending every single one to my boyfriend, wondering if I was actually pregnant.
Deep down… I think I already knew the answer to our question.
After work I headed to Walgreens to buy a pregnancy test.
And I swear, I felt like every eye was on me — from the minute I walked in, to grabbing the test, to purchasing it.
My anxiety was through the roof.
The next day, I took the test.
Those three minutes?
Felt FOREVER.
I didn’t know what to expect, but I already knew what the answer would be.
I was scared it would be positive… but at the same time, I lowkey wanted it to be.
Either way, negative or positive.
I would accept it.
The timer finally went off.
And there it was —
The most faint line.
That’s when I knew
From shock to something else.
I immediately sent a picture to my boyfriend on Snapchat.
(That’s how I told him I was pregnant, lol)
He couldn’t accept a faint line, so we took three more tests.
Each one came out darker than the last.
Honestly?
We felt more excited than scared.
The idea of starting a family together felt… like a stepping stone.
I somehow found a purpose I couldn’t figure out when I was in high school.
Because before that positive line, I didn’t really know who I was.
But maybe —
This was it, this was who I needed to be.
Life Started Moving Fast
6 months after our first baby…
I was pregnant again!
Two under two.
15 months apart.
I felt crazy, everything was moving so fast.
But I was excited for my baby to become a big brother.
And then…
AGAIN!
Pregnant with our third.
18 months apart from our second.
When it all hit me
Find out I was pregnant a third time…
I was not too happy.
Three babies.
And I was only 21.
I started to think…
Did I just ruin my life?
Will I ever become who I wanted to be?
Am I going to lose myself completely?
Nobody really talks about this part.
The part where you love your kids…
While slowly fading from who you are.
The part where you’re raising babies…while still trying to grow up yourself.
I felt stuck between two lives —
The one I thought I’d have…
And the one I was living in.
The Shift
And then something clicked.
Maybe I wasn’t losing my life…
Maybe I was being redirected.
I don’t have to choose between being a mom and becoming who I want to be.
I can do both—at the same time.
This wasn’t the end of my life.
I’m just on a different path than I was expecting.
Motherhood didn’t take away who I was —
But it’s helped me shape the woman I am becoming and growing.
Growing while raising them
Motherhood is often painted as women losing themselves in the process of mothering and nurturing her kids.
But I’ve grown since becoming a mother…
Mentally.
Emotionally.
Even physically.
Everything changed for me.
My priorities shifted, my mindset grew, and my drive became stronger than ever.
Being a young mom isn’t easy.
I’m raising children… while trying to become the woman I want to be at the same time.
But it’s taught me things nothing else can.
Patience.
Responsibility.
A different kind of strength I never knew existed.
Becoming HER
It took me a while — my last child — that my children deserve a mom who knows herself.
They needed someone who is:
Present. Growing. And becoming her best self.
And that’s who I’m working on becoming — every single day.
Motherhood might’ve not been something I wanted
But it gave me a purpose I’ve been searching for the longest.
And it’s shaping the woman I am becoming.
A little note from me.
Sometimes life doesn’t go as we planned—and that’s okay.
You’re not alone in that.
And if you’ve ever felt like you’ve lost yourself in motherhood—
like you don’t even recognize who you are anymore—
I see you.
This is the kind of motherhood I talk about here—the real, in-between parts that don’t get said out loud enough.
If you want more of that—more honesty, more “me too” moments—I’d love for you to stay connected.
You can join my email list anytime, or just come back when you need it.